You may have noticed I dropped off and didn’t keep up with updates (on here OR Facebook) as intended. This November was… rough. So here’s a few thoughts on NaNoWriMo for 2016:

1. This November was determined to not be cooperative. At least in the realm of writing. In the first place, I’ve taken a few years off NaNo and honestly forgotten just how much I have to learn to say no both to others and myself in favor of having the time to write. Also that this is not something to feel guilty over… it’s 30 days out of the whole year. But here are a few reasons this November was extra topsy-turvy:
   1. My best friend’s car met an already-dead woodland creature on the road and thus died itself. I am happy to help be a ride, offered right away and don’t regret it one bit, but it does require extra time.
   2. I also heard from friends who found a newly-orphaned baby kitty who needed a home right away… and put best friend in touch with them. Baby kitty now has a safe and happy home!! The story couldn’t have a better ending. But baby kitties, especially ‘found’ ones, require things to help get them in perfect health, and this also takes time.
   3. Hubby has been having increasing back pain for months now and this month it finally hit a peak that has kept him from working all but the absolutely-required hours at work. We’re in the process of helping him get better and may finally have some answers, but less money + his inability to help with housework has taken away writing time as well. The only thing I regret about this is that he doesn’t feel better. I want to see him pain free. Hopefully that is on the horizon.
   4. I have been dealing with a resurgence of my own health issues. Thankfully none of the severe ones, but mostly the ones that cause low-level all-over pain as well as higher levels of fatigue. The extra responsibilities at this time contribute so that there isn’t much left over at the end of the day. I’d rather sleep than write. And sometimes that’s how it has to be.
   5. ALL OF THAT BEING SAID… that’s life. I regret none of it. Feel animosity toward none of it. This year especially seems to have beat up nearly the entire world. I only list these things as examples that sometimes there are other things that need taking care of in life, and it’s okay to give over to handling those things. Just don’t forget yourself when ‘other things’ begin to calm down once more.
2. I finished at 17 hours, 1 minute. A far cry from my 50 hours goal. I honestly had no concept of 50 hours in regards to normal daily life, let alone the messy side of life I’ve been dealing with lately. That’s a LOT of time in addition to a full time job and other responsibilities. I will likely try for it again in 2017, but I now have a better understanding and appreciation for how much time that is and what it requires me to do.
3. I may have only hit 34% of goal, but it was a wonderfully productive month for me. I feel like I absolutely did the right thing in waiting to begin this project during NaNo.
   1. I finished 1 poem, full edits, and am nearly done with a 2nd. This is not going to sound impressive. For me, I’m pleased. I’ve never tackled a full length collection, let alone with a theme, from scratch. I have recently been going MONTHS without picking up a pen at all; I’m out of practice.
   2. I am learning to sit and work at writing even when I don’t feel incredibly inspired. This is the ‘magic’ level of being a writer I’ve never really hit before. No inspiration has always equaled no writing. I’m learning to wake inspiration up by sitting down with my pen before she shows up on her own.
   3. I’m learning my own process of creating poetry, especially from a blank page / free writing stage. Notably I’m learning to NOT give up on the poem when I go from messy free write to really, really bad rhyming verse. This seems to be a common ‘second step’ for me on my way to the end product. It’s just a sign that a poem is beginning to form, not that it will be stuck there. Don’t give up.
   4. I’ve discovered that the more I work on my own poetry, the more ‘hungry’ I get for reading the work of others. I absolutely have to refill the tank. It’s even more satisfying to read the work of amazing poets when I feel like my poetry tank is empty. The best words and lines spark that much brighter. Most recent read? “The Robot Scientist’s Daughter” by Jeannine Hall Gailey. Highly recommended.
4. This project is going to take a year at best. Any less and I will have rushed through it. I know me and my abilities (at least as they are at this time) and know this to be true. It is likely it will take longer, and if that is what creates the best work I am capable of, then so be it. I don’t want to hurry this and mess it up. But I got enough momentum going this month that I trust myself to not give up. Even taking a week away from writing gave me the itch to sit down for at least a couple of hours one afternoon and work.

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And so November has begun! I’ll be posting once a week with an update on how the writing is going for the month, and I hope you’ll check in for that! You can also follow my Facebook page for daily (or near-daily) updates.

Note: After November my blog may not be quite as busy for a time, but I’ll still be around. I don’t want this blog to turn into what my previous blogs have been, a race just to post something within a certain time frame. You may have noticed there are a few categories on this blog with no (or few) posts yet. I promise they’re coming. Some of them are just much more time intensive and why would anyone want to read a post that I don’t feel like putting my heart into writing? Those categories are place-holders and will slowly be filled.

This year, NaNoWriMo is not only about starting a new project for me, but also learning to allow myself to do something I love. I’ve known for a long time that I’m holding myself back, but it hasn’t been until the last couple of months that I’ve worked out at least part of my mindset behind it. This NaNoWriMo is a small step in taking back part of my creative self.

In case you haven’t read this post yet, I’m being a NaNo rebel and working on my first poetry collection. I’m not about to write 50,000 words of poetry (even really, really BAD poetry), so my goal is to commit 50 hours of time this month to working on that collection.

It’s been a slow start. But I expected that. As of the end of Nov 7th I have given the project 3 hours and 41 minutes of time. I have some serious catching up to do! Keep in mind that I only count completely focused and dedicate time. Idle wandering as I think things over, internet researchings, etc. are not being counted. I don’t think that’s fair.

Want to follow 5 writers (and not just me) this November? Make sure to check out the Rabid Rainbow Ferret Society’s blog (my writing group) for weekly updates too! Here’s the first week: NaNoWriMo Week One! – Ferret Updates

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo or any other writing project this month? Tell me about it in the comments!

I finally have a solid idea for what might be my first collection. Certainly my first consciously themed poetry project. It began as an idea for a single poem. Specifically, a title. When I couldn’t pin down what I wanted to write, having too many options, I thought perhaps it would be a few poems or a poem in many parts. Before long I realized that the concept I had was not for just one or two poems, but a theme for a collection.

I’ve been tossing it around in my head for well over a full year now, and seeing as how it won’t go away I think I need to work on it. Unfortunately wanting to write it does not immediately make it appear as a bestseller on the shelves of Barnes and Noble tomorrow. I can daydream all I want about it, but if I think about all of the steps it will take to get it into published form I won’t even start. There’s simply too many. (And this is where a lot of writers in all genres get stuck.) Instead I’m working on a game plan to get around to writing it in the first place.

I’m afraid if I tackle it now, while I’m still only writing in fits and starts, I won’t stick to it, no matter how much this project means to me. So instead, I’m using NaNoWriMo this year to kick off. If I can dig my claws in deep, I don’t think I’ll let the project go even if I can’t devote time to it at a consistent pace after November. In the spirit of 50 (since NaNoWriMo’s goal is 50,000 words), I pledge 50 hours of “butt in chair” time, all to this project (unless another poem that doesn’t fit just insists on not waiting, you know how it goes).

Does that mean I’ll stop at 50 hours? Of course not! I hope to spend more time! But I will do everything in my power that month to see that I devote at least 50 hours. If I spend that much time focusing, I know I will get something written. Even on my day-dreamiest days I can’t spend a full hour staring at an empty page without writing SOMETHING before I give up. 50 hours will equal progress, even if I can’t guess how much.

So until November starts I’m quietly working on the logistics in my head. I have a few different ways the collection could be arranged, and while I won’t worry too strongly about that until it is nearing completion, the core ideas for arrangement in my head I am trying to sort because they will at least partially determine how I go about writing.

All I can say is that my favorite pens and a shiny new journal (picked up during last year’s writing retreat with the Ferret girls; I told you this has been in my head for awhile) are ready to go!